As spiritual people who want to change the world for the better, we may feel emotionally distressed by some of the hurtful posts and comments we see on social media. We may feel an overwhelming urge to respond to them.
We may even feel duty-bound to “set these people straight.”
I admit that on more than one occasion, I have gotten riled up and sucked into conversations with people on social media. Each time, the conversation consumed my energy, destroyed my peace, and didn’t do much at all to set them straight. Now, I believe the best way to respond to a post or comment that upsets us is to not respond at all – to pretend that it isn’t even there.
There is great power in not responding. You see, on social media, people get a high from reactions and comments. Many enjoy a power trip from making people angry. Some may not even believe the stuff they are spewing. They just want a reaction. If we don’t give them what they want, they go away.
I’ve seen many positive, peaceful conversations with a negative or snide comment in the feed, and I absolutely love it when that comment is completely ignored by everyone involved in the conversation like it wasn’t even there. The remark isn’t even given the dignity of a reaction emoji.
That is the most powerful troll repellant there is.
If someone you care about was the target of an offensive post or comment, just post a comment to your friend loaded with lots of unconditional love and support. Don’t make any references to the offensive post; remember, it’s invisible!
We must be very careful not to be deceived by the ego. We are not being loving to ourselves or anyone else by trying to force our point of view on people before they are willing to consider it; we are unwittingly playing the “power game” just like they are. And since we are nicer people, we will probably lose.
It’s best to save our “pearls of wisdom” for those who actively seek them out. As Jesus said in Matthew 7:6, “Do not give what is holy to dogs; and do not throw your pearls before swine, or they will trample them under foot and turn and maul you.”
If we feel upset about a post or comment directed toward us, it’s best to go within and ask ourselves what it is about the post or comment that is upsetting us. If it has struck a nerve in us, then there is a belief within us that needs to be healed. The post or comment may have triggered the thought, “You should be ashamed of yourself,” or “You’re not good enough,” or “Your feelings aren’t important.”
Thoughts like these and the strong feelings they generate are usually not about the perfect stranger who made the post or comment. They are reminders of messages we have gotten from someone from our past, and they were not true about us. They were lies then, and they are lies now.
Rather than trying to “set straight” the individual who made the hurtful post or comment, we can use it as a wonderful opportunity to go within, become aware of the old programming that has triggered pain within us, and give ourselves lots of unconditional love and support.
We might say to ourselves, “I am safe and loved,” or “I am good enough just as I am,” or “I am allowed to feel whatever I feel, and it’s always important.” In this way, we set ourselves straight and deepen our own peace of mind and heart in the process.
That is a far wiser and more productive use of our time and energy.
Rev. Joan M. Kistler 